Well Meaning

I ran into a friend from work that I hadn't seen for a long time. We chatted for a minute and then she asked about mom. I told her it was getting steadily worse. She asked if mom was still living with us. When I said yes, I think she meant to be supportive by saying she would do the same and that she would never have someone else care for her parents. So I guess in her eyes I would be a total failure and terrible daughter if it ever got too hard to keep mom at home.

One of my administrators is always telling me about nursing homes that are "really great" and that I should look into moving mom into one. It's just too much to care for her at home, and it would be so much easier, etc. They're like grand hotels. So I guess in her eyes I'm playing the martyr and a terrible wife and mother if I keep mom at home.

I have had those two very different attitudes given to me by doctors too. One of mom's doctors was very much a keep her at home supporter. She kept her parents at home and it is the only right choice. My own doctor says it's too stressful and he is a nursing home supporter.

I know I have to do what is right for mom and my family in our situation. For now that means keeping her at home, but I am not saying it will be forever. I'm pretty sure there will get to be a point when we can't keep her at home, but it's not yet.